Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
