Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
