Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you didnt know i had herpes?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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