D3 body, D1 cock
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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