u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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