i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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