Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
