I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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