Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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