In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
