I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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