did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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