dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
