Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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