Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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