I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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