I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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