Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
