drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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