I have demons in me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
