It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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