is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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