did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
