Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
