i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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