So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
