In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
