I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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