it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
