i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
