Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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