Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
