worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
