I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
