I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
