I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
