I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
