guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
