too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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