He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
