The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize