Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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