when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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