david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
