apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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