I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
