Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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