his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
