i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
