My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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