I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
