My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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