M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
