hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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