i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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