Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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