i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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