watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
