Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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