the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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