Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
