8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
