I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need a beard to bite.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
