Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize