Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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