fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
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