There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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