so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
