I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
