I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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