My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I will be naked everywhere
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
