i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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