i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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