I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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