She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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