The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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