onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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