i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
