pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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