Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
