I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
